By Ali Weatherford

baby refusing to breastfeed

A breastfeeding strike is when a baby refuses to breastfeed. Some people might also indicate that their baby “self-weaned”. These things can happen… sort of. But it’s really important to understand the differences and how to manage those situations, especially if you want to continue breastfeeding.

Understanding and Overcoming Nursing Strikes

A baby will sometimes refuse to breastfeed for a lot of reasons. It’s usually abrupt and can take you by surprise. When this happens, it can be so frustrating and disheartening. You might have worked so hard to finally achieve breastfeeding success, and then suddenly your baby doesn’t want it anymore?! It can be hard not to take it personally.

Please feel confident that your baby still needs you and wants you. A nursing strike does not usually mean it’s time to wean! There’s just something going on that needs to be discovered. Here are some reasons a baby might suddenly refuse the breast:

  • If you changed the products you use and smell different to your baby.
  • If there is a lot of stress in the home.
  • If there are changes in routine.
  • If the baby is suddenly spending a lot more time with another caregiver.
  • If you’ve been eating something new that adds a lot of flavor to your milk supply.
  • If the baby is sick.
  • If the baby is going through a big developmental milestone like cutting a tooth or learning to roll over.
  • If your baby bit you and you had a big reaction that might have scared them.
  • If you are pregnant.
  • If you have an overactive letdown.
  • If you have a lower milk supply for some reason, like your ovulation returns.
  • If your baby is in pain.
  • If your baby has developed a preference for the bottle.
  • If your baby is distracted by too many stimulating things in the environment.

Some of these things might be easy to recognize and fix, or you know they will pass. If you change back to your old lotion or stop eating tons of chicken curry, the baby might suddenly return to the breast very happily.

Some of these things might not be so easy to determine or address, so here are some tips that might be helpful:

  • If you have a very powerful milk ejection or “overactive letdown”, try some of the techniques recommended in this article to help your baby feed more easily.
  • If you suspect that your baby has developed a bottle preference, try making bottle-feeding less easy. Many babies develop a preference for the bottle because the milk comes out more easily. They just don’t have to work as hard! When this happens, you can back up and try again. Use the recommended methods to make bottle feeding more like breastfeeding.
  • A nipple shield might be helpful if your baby has developed a strong preference for the bottle. If the recommendation above isn’t quite enough, you might try this in combination. This can be a temporary bridge back to direct breastfeeding.
  • If you’re having low milk supply issues, it could be a temporary issue caused by a hormonal change like the return of ovulation. If that’s the case, it will hopefully normalize quickly and your baby can feed again. If you have low milk supply caused by other factors, you may need to do some things to increase your milk supply.
  • Lots of skin-to-skin time. Staying very closely connected to your baby when you’re together might help your baby back to the breast.
    • Try using a baby carrier to keep your baby close.
    • Try sharing a warm bath with your baby.
    • Do all feedings against your bare chest. You want your baby to have positive associations with the breast even if that means getting a bottle. Sometimes you can put the bottle close to your nipple, then make the switch!
  • Movement might help. Babies tend to like to be walked, rocked, patted, bounced, or swayed. If you’re wearing your baby in a carrier, try nursing there after a little walking or dancing. Or try bouncing a little or patting your baby’s bottom before attempting to latch at the breast.
  • Put some drops of breast milk on your nipple so the baby gets a taste and might continue.
  • If your baby is eating some solid foods, try smearing a little of their favorite food on your nipple!
  • Keep it positive. Don’t force your baby to the breast if they are unhappy about it. You want to maintain positive associations with breastfeeding.
  • Attempt to feed a happy or drowsy baby. Sometimes, when a baby is very relaxed or even partly asleep, they’ll latch on. It’s not usually a good idea to wait until the baby is very hungry or overstimulated. They might be too grumpy to accept at that point.
  • Set up a quiet and distraction-free environment for feeding your baby.
  • Try nursing in different positions. Sometimes it just takes a little change!

However long a nursing strike lasts, it’s also important to continue to pump at the times your baby would have nursed. When you can maintain that routine, you’ll continue to have pumped milk to feed your baby, and you’ll also maintain your milk supply so that when the strike is over, you can continue breastfeeding.

How to Recognize When Your Baby is Self-weaning

A nursing strike is usually sudden, too soon, and temporary. When a baby self-weans, it looks different and it happens later. A baby might gradually start to wean, but it can take many months before breastfeeding stops completely. This usually starts when a baby is between 18 and 24 months of age, but can happen a little sooner.

The baby won’t just suddenly refuse the breast completely. You might first notice that your baby is just nursing a little less often, or that the breastfeeding sessions are a little bit shorter. They might get more easily distracted during breastfeeding. They show more interest in and start eating more solid foods. Over time, eight breastfeeding sessions per day whittles down to just three, two, then one. Where it used to take 20 minutes for your baby to finish a breastmilk meal, it’s now only a two minute snack break.

Self-weaning is a gradual process that happens over many months and can be hard to recognize at first. I didn’t notice it was happening until I realized that I wasn’t nursing at all in between naps and bedtime anymore! When the baby takes the lead and weaning happens gradually, it can be a very easy process. You might not have any issues with breast pain, engorgement, or leaking, and your baby won’t have to go through a difficult transition.

If you notice that your baby is self-weaning, and you want to continue to breastfeed more, you can offer more often, or use some of the tips in the list above.

If you notice that your baby is self-weaning and you’re ready too, you can also encourage the weaning by doing a few simple things:

  • Don’t offer the breast. Let your baby ask.
  • If you’ve been using nursing to get your baby to sleep, try doing something different at naptime. Does your baby fall asleep in the baby carrier or the stroller? Does your baby like to cuddle or be rocked? Will they fall asleep when you read a story?
  • If you usually breastfeed when your baby is waking up, try offering a snack instead.

However and why-ever your baby stops breastfeeding, it’s important to support your bond with plenty of cuddle and connection time. If your baby is self-weaning, this connection will help you both through the transition. If your baby is just on a nursing strike, that connection might help you discover what is causing the strike and bring your baby back to the breast. Your bond with your baby is what matters most!

Reference:

Why Baby May Suddenly Refuse the Breast