If you want or NEED to travel with your baby, and you’re worried about how your baby might sleep while away from home, know that you’re not the only one! Many new parents have these concerns, and the good news is that most of the time, babies do very well.

Are YOU a good traveler?

Your baby’s sleep can be a concern whether you’re someone who loves to travel or not. Know that if you love to travel and think it’s going to be the same to travel with a baby, you may need to adjust your expectations. You can still enjoy traveling, but you might want to plan ahead a little to make sure things go smoothly. Babies have different needs, and when those needs are not met, it can definitely put a damper on your good time.

Also know that if you’re not a person who loves to travel, or just if traveling with a baby is no fun for you, there are things you can do to make it better, OR you can choose to minimize your travel whenever possible. If you don’t have an urgent need to travel, it’s ok to put it off until you’re ready. As babies grow into toddlers, and toddlers into children, you might start to feel very differently. I have never been a big traveler, and I did not enjoy traveling with babies.

When my babies became kids though, I suddenly LOVED traveling! There was something about showing them new places and things that made it all fun and exciting for me. Now that they are teenagers, it’s changing again, but the point is that everyone is different and it is normal to go through some changes.

Some tips for making sleep and travel with a baby easier and more enjoyable:

• Don’t overschedule. Make sure you have breaks in between excursions or events so your baby can nap well and be sure to get in all their meals. It’s great to feed your baby while you’re out if that works, but especially older babies can get distracted easily and might not get in a full meal while you’re busy.
• Plan your packing. Travel can be a lot more frustrating when you’re carrying lots of stuff. You might be able to plan ahead and have things like diapers delivered to your travel location, ask your hotel or guest house about anything they might have for babies, or just buy or borrow some of the things you need when you get there.
• Use a baby carrier. It’s best to get your baby comfortable in the carrier before you start your travel plans. It can be a life saver on vacation. Babies tend to be happy in a carrier, and it can help get your baby to sleep, even on the go, or in strange places and circumstances.
• Prioritize naps. If your baby has some bad nights, naps are a great opportunity to make up the sleep.

What do people worry about most?

You might be someone who is VERY worried about how your baby will sleep away from home. There might be a lot of reasons for these worries. You and your baby might sleep really well at home. Maybe it wasn’t always that way, and you’re worried about regression. Your baby might just be starting to sleep a little better and you worry that all your progress will be lost. Your baby might not sleep well at all at home, and you worry that dealing with that while on a trip will make you all miserable. In the worst case, your baby does sleep pretty badly, and so do you. That might mean some tiredness and crabbiness while you’re traveling. You might also experience some struggles to get back on track with sleep when you get home.

The good news?

Even if the worst case plays out while you’re traveling and when you get back home, babies do recover and so will you. It doesn’t usually take all that long to get back on track.

Even better news is that, most of the time, the worst case does NOT play out. Most of the time, babies do better than expected. A baby who seems to fight sleep consistently at home might suddenly fall asleep so easily while on vacation.

There could be a number of reasons for this:

• If you happen to be more relaxed while on vacation, your baby might also feel more relaxed. That can definitely make it easier to sleep.
• Your baby might be allowed to fall asleep on their own more natural cycle while traveling. If you have a lot of structure and routines in place at home, it can sometimes be harder to get babies on board with that, especially when they’re very young. On vacation, we can sometimes let the strict structure go, and then we see our babies sleeping when they’re sleepy!
• Moving babies tend to sleep well. This isn’t true for ALL babies, but many of them are soothed by movement. When you’re traveling, you might be spending a lot of time in cars, trains, planes, and walking. Your baby may take great naps in the car or stroller, or if you’re carrying them in a baby carrier.

What babies need most

The most obvious and easy answer is YOU. You are the most consistent sleep aid in your baby’s life. You helped them sleep when they were in the womb, and you are still most likely the strongest association they have with sleep. That is great news for travel situations. As long as you’re there, your baby is likely to sleep just fine.

Some people work hard to set up very structured sleep conditions and routines at home. You might start with a bath, some lotion and massage, a song or story, then nursing, and finally the baby gets into their crib or bassinet with a special night light, blanket, and white noise machine. The set up is very consistent, and you might think they NEED all of these things to be able to fall asleep. These routines can be very helpful at home when you have a consistent daily schedule.

So what happens when you travel? Some people think that the babies won’t know how to sleep without all of their sleep aids and routines. This just doesn’t tend to be true. Babies are more adaptable than you might think.

If you can plan ahead when you’re setting up bedtime routines, you might consider including things that are easy to travel with. Some things that might work include:

• A lullaby
• A small night light
• A small white noise machine
• A special blanket
• A special naturally scented lotion for a bedtime massage
• YOU – You can walk, rock, nurse, rub, or pat your baby to sleep. No special supplies necessary!

Most parents pack a lot more than they actually need the first time traveling with a baby. It’s almost a rite of passage! But if you can plan ahead a little, you might be able to get away with less, and you’ll likely be glad for that. Especially remember that most babies won’t need a lot of stuff to be able to sleep well as long as you’re there. We hope you can relax and enjoy some travel time with your baby! If you’d like to know a little more about normal infant sleep, consider taking our class with psychologist, Dr. Ellie Wheeler.

Written in consultation with Cassie Terrillion, IBCLC, RLC, Baby-Led Sleep Specialist

Last week’s article was about the basics of newborn sleep. This is a really big topic and deserves some follow up from Breastfeeding Success. It’s also a really good idea to understand how your infant’s sleep patterns affect breastfeeding and vice versa.

Newborn sleep and breastfeeding are very closely linked. Understanding those links can help new parents feel more confident and at peace with the way things usually go in those early days and weeks.

How does breastfeeding affect sleep?

The act of direct breastfeeding, and especially exclusive breastfeeding, can definitely affect the quantity and quality of sleep that you and your baby get. Exclusive breastfeeding means that you ONLY feed your baby directly from your body. It’s ideal to do this especially in the first few weeks, so that you can establish a very healthy and stable milk supply. Pumping and supplementing during that early period can sometimes interfere with that goal.

Some sleep benefits to breastfeeding include:

• Hormonal changes: If you are exclusively breastfeeding especially, there are a lot of protective hormonal processes that happen. Breastfeeding can release hormones that actually help you sleep better. It’s shown that people who breastfeed get an average of 45 minutes of sleep more per night.
• Breastfeeding is low effort: Ideally, your baby is in your room and within arms reach when you sleep. You don’t have to leave the room to prepare bottles and then clean bottles. When your baby needs to eat, breastfeeding means that you can easily reach your baby and feed them without much disruption. You may not even need to get out of bed or turn on any lights. This can save you some precious minutes of sleep, and usually makes it easier to go back to sleep.

How do baby’s sleep patterns affect breastfeeding?

We know that newborn sleep is different from our own typical sleep habits, and often difficult for adults to contend with. There are actually some very good reasons for that, and some of those have to do with ensuring that breastfeeding goes well.

A newborn’s sleep patterns can benefit breastfeeding in a number of ways:

• Regular and consistent milk removal: A good milk supply is created by regular and consistent stimulation at the nipple. Each time your baby latches on and removes milk, your body gets the message that there is a baby there, and they are asking for more food. Your body’s response is to increase the milk supply. A newborn’s tiny belly means they need to wake often to ask for food, so breastfeeding often and around the clock means you will be building a great milk supply for future success and ease.
• Natural prolactin hormone surges: Your body tends to make more prolactin between the hours of 1-5am. Your baby’s tendency to wake often to feed means you’ll likely breastfeed during this time. When you stimulate the breast during a prolactin surge, you get an extra boost for your milk production.

Frustrations for parents

It’s very normal to feel frustrated at having to wake up so often to feed your newborn. You may see people posting about newborn babies “sleeping through the night”. It seems like this is a badge of honor for new parents, and we desperately want this to be possible for us! It’s just not very realistic or even healthy. The people who are experiencing the normal ups and downs of infant sleep just aren’t posting about it.

Also, we’re usually not accustomed to the newborn’s kind of sleep pattern. It’s normal to feel exhausted and want to try anything to get the baby to sleep just a little longer. Just remember a couple of things when you feel this way:

• This is temporary: Newborns develop SO fast. And babies in the first year especially, continue to make huge developmental leaps. During this time, it’s so normal for things to be different and inconsistent, but it doesn’t last all that long. If you’re patient and watchful, you’ll see that your baby changes, and things will usually start to improve naturally.
• Topping off might work, but should it?: It’s sometimes true that giving a baby a bottle of breastmilk or formula before you go to bed might help them sleep a little longer, but that might not be the best thing to do. First, it’s actually healthy for a baby to wake up often. It can lower their risk for SIDS, especially during the newborn period. And secondly, your milk supply benefits from the baby eating there more often, especially in those first couple of months. Filling a baby’s belly from a bottle means that your body might be receiving the messages it needs to develop a great milk supply.
• Your baby is normal and things are working: It’s hard to remember this when you’re exhausted, but waking up often is part of a baby’s natural safety and development system. It can help to recall that in the difficult moments.
• Forcing it can backfire: Trying to work against your baby’s natural sleep and feeding behaviors can sometimes work against you. It’s a good idea to set up only positive associations with sleep. A good, secure attachment can mean that babies have less stress and pushback later.
• What does “sleeping through the night” really mean?: In regards to infant sleep, the definition of “sleeping through the night” is actually just 4-5 hours. So, if you hear people bragging about that, they don’t usually mean a huge 10-12 hour stretch of sleep. You may be doing even better than you think! And once your baby gets to the point of sleeping that long, you’ll likely start to notice that you feel more rested. 4-5 hours of sleep for adults usually means that you get two full sleep cycles. Getting that second full sleep cycle can make all the difference.

Some things to know

While you’re parenting a new baby, it’s really important to be able to “go with the flow”. Follow your baby’s lead, because it’s best for both of you. Your breast milk supply depends on that to be plentiful, and your baby depends on that so they can grow and be happy and healthy. It also usually means that you can relax and just focus on your baby’s needs without worrying about whether you’re doing everything “right”, or like someone else says you should do it. Here are a few things to do in those early weeks to help you ease through:

• Feed on demand, even at night. Remember that this is a critical time for your baby’s growth and for your milk supply. This is the most powerful thing you can do to ensure success.
• Limit excessive caffeine: A moderate amount shouldn’t have any affect on your baby’s ability to sleep. That means consuming no more than about 2-3 cups of coffee per day. It’s also a good idea to stop drinking caffeine at least a few hours before you’d like your baby to sleep. The caffeine content in your breast milk peaks at about 1.5-2 hours after you consume it. After that, it reduces until it’s undetectable at around 6 hours later. Remember that a lot of things contain caffeine that you might not realize.
• Other than caffeine, what you eat shouldn’t have a big impact on your milk and your baby’s sleep.
• If your baby is waking up every hour or seems uncomfortable, talk to your pediatrician in case of reflux or other health issue.

My sweetest wish for all parents is that they can make peace with their baby’s natural rhythms of sleep and feeding, especially when you have a newborn. When you can surrender and give your trust to your baby and your body, things usually work out in the end. It’s great to turn off the media and turn down the volume on any other voices who are telling you how you “should” parent your baby related to sleep and feeding. So much of the messaging out there is outdated or incorrect. It’s also true that sometimes things don’t go smoothly and it’s best to contact a lactation professional for the most evidence-based and useful advice. This is such a personal journey. Every baby and parent is different. You will figure out what works best for your baby and your family.

In consultation with Dr. Ellie Wheeler and Cassie Terrillion, IBCLC, RLC, Baby-Led Sleep Specialist

Breastfeeding Success is a company dedicated to helping families get a good start, and our specialty is breastfeeding. We also understand that families have a lot more to navigate than baby feeding. Feeding babies might take the top spot for issues that families have to prioritize and get help with sometimes, but sleep probably comes in at a very close second.

We lose sleep

One of my biggest fears when I started thinking about becoming a parent was the possibility that I might lose sleep. I was really good at sleeping. I wrote a thesis paper about sleep and sleep disorders in college, so I really understood the importance of good sleep. I understand what it does for our brains. I understand that when we sleep well, we have more energy, get sick less, feel less stress, focus and think better. Knowing all this, I had perfected the art of sleeping well, and the thought that a baby would change my excellent routine was scary!

My baby came, and my sleep was disrupted. My worst fears came to pass, but I managed better than I thought I would. I was finally able to relax and give in to the process. I figured out ways to work around the baby’s needs, and eventually started to get better sleep. It was a slow and gradual process, and I wish I had known more about the actual nature and biology of infant sleep at the time. Knowing more would have made me feel better about my baby, and my sleep parenting.

We hear so much about the way babies “should” sleep and how we “should” or “should not” handle their sleep routines. Unfortunately, most of that advice is not based on basic human development and the reality of a baby’s biology, and it only serves to make us feel bad about ourselves and judge our babies as flawed.

Natural biology of infant sleep

Humans spend the first nine to ten months of their lives in the womb. It’s a very dark environment. Sound is muffled and soothing. They are always warm, and they get a steady stream of oxygen and nutrition from the umbilical cord, so they don’t even have to regulate their temperature, breathe or eat! They float around in fluid, and they don’t have much space to move around. They are squeezed, lulled, soothed and rocked by our movement. For that reason, babies tend to sleep a lot when we are awake and active. The gentle movement is comforting and helps them sleep. That’s why, during pregnancy, a lot of people notice that their babies wake up and get more active when they finally lie down to sleep at night.

Then they are born, and suddenly their environment is very different. It’s very bright, cold, loud, and dry. They have a lot of space and don’t feel hugged and snug anymore unless they are being held. They have to breathe and start to feel hungry. They need to eat often because they are learning to regulate their blood sugars, and because their bellies are very tiny at first and empty quickly. The transition to their new world takes time. The newborn period is often called “The Fourth Trimester”, because babies still behave as if they are in the womb, and tend to be happier when treated as if they are. It’s important to understand this as the parent of a newborn. They are different from older babies, and that’s ok. It’s important to remember that this is a very temporary developmental stage so that you don’t feel frustrated or too overwhelmed.

You may notice some things that work for your newborn:

• They like to be held skin-to-skin so they can get the benefit of our body warmth and the feeling of being snugly held. This also benefits milk supply, bonding, and even your hormonal regulation and moods!
• They ask to eat often while their bellies are small and they’re learning to regulate their blood sugar, so they don’t feel hungry and can maintain healthy blood sugar levels.
• They like to be rocked, bounced, walked and swayed so they feel the familiar comfort of our movement and can fall asleep easily.
• They wake often at night, and might sleep longer stretches during the day.
• They may seem to only sleep well when being held.

Circadian Rhythms

An important thing to remember about newborns is that they are born without developed circadian rhythms. Circadian rhythms are based on the 24 hour cycle of day and night. Our bodies adjust to the cycles of the sun when we get that full spectrum light through our skin and eyes. It makes sense for our bodies to function based on circadian rhythms.

When it’s dark, we should be less active. It’s not as safe or convenient to move around and try to do things at night. Our vital signs and basic bodily functions slow down. We sleep and recover! During the day, it makes sense for us to be more active. We can see better, and most of the things we need to do can be done better during daylight hours.

Because babies have been deprived of full spectrum light in the womb, they have not developed their circadian rhythms. It takes time, and at first it will probably seem like your baby has their days and nights switched. They may be awake more at night, and sleep longer stretches during the day. This makes sense when we remember that they are used to being lulled to sleep with your movement during the day. It takes some time for babies to develop those circadian rhythms, and you can also do some things to help.

• Expose your baby to lots of natural light during the day. You might go outside, or at least be sure to open the blinds or curtains so the natural light can come in.
• Stay active during the day. Do your normal activities during the day, and your baby will likely be with you having that experience. Eventually, they’ll catch on to the idea that daytime is for being awake and doing things!
• Keep the lighting low at night. You’re sure to be awake sometimes at night, but avoid turning on bright lights. It’s best to use red or orange spectrum bulbs or night lights. Cassie likes to recommend salt lamps because they offer just enough soft light to see by.
• Keep the stimulation to a minimum at night. Try to minimize diaper changes, bedding changes, and keep the household activity quiet during nighttime hours.

Babies wake a lot

As frustrating as it might be at times, you might feel better to remember that newborns are designed to wake often. This protects them in a couple of ways:

• They wake often for hunger because their bellies are tiny and empty quickly. This also corresponds with your body’s need to produce a healthy milk supply. The more the baby attaches to the breast, the better. Your body understands that it needs to increase the milk supply each time your baby asks for milk at the breast. So, while your milk supply is being established, it’s actually very good for your baby to eat VERY often.
• It keeps them from sleeping too deeply. There is a time in the newborn period especially where their brains are still underdeveloped in a way that means they are not good at going through sleep stages including arousal. Arousal is waking up or coming out of deep sleep. They wake often at first, which helps protect them from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Newer research points to an underdeveloped ability to arouse from sleep as a cause of SIDS. Once babies get a little older, this will improve. Their brains develop, and they will be able to regulate this better and be at lower risk for SIDS. Cigarette smoking contributes to arousal problems in infants, so please be sure not to smoke around your baby, and even wash or remove your clothing layers before holding them or sharing a room.

While you’re getting through this period with your baby, remind yourself that waking up often is healthy! Also, consider some of these strategies to help you get more sleep and feel better while you’re waiting for your baby to catch up.

• Keep them near you so you can provide physical touch and comfort easily. Sometimes all they need to go back to sleep is a belly rub or just your hand on their abdomen. You may not even have to get out of bed to comfort your baby!
• Let your baby sleep on you. It’s really OK to do this. You won’t spoil your baby. However, if there is any chance you might fall asleep too, make sure you don’t fall asleep on a couch or chair. It’s much safer to be in a safe bed for this.
• Sleep when your baby sleeps. It’s EXTREMELY tempting to want to get things done when your baby finally falls asleep, but you will be better off if you get some sleep instead. Remember that this is temporary and the tasks can wait, OR
• Pull in support so you can get more rest. If you have willing loved ones, ask them to help you with the household chores and errands so you can sleep when your baby does.

If you can take a class, there is so much to know about infant sleep. It’s a fascinating topic, and there is a lot for new parents to know. Breastfeeding Success has a great class taught by psychologist, Dr. Ellie Wheeler.

Here are some of Ellie’s favorite tips to share with new parents. Remember that you ARE a great parent even though your baby doesn’t seem to be sleeping well!

1. Babies are meant to wake up frequently. Even through the night!
2. How long a baby sleeps and how frequently they wake are not measures of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ sleep! Or a measure of how well you are doing at parenting. It is not your job to get your baby to sleep, you can only provide opportunities for them to fall asleep if they want to.
3. Almost every single person in the world eventually starts to sleep in long stretches over night. Sometimes this happens when they’re six months old. Sometimes when they are older. This is all normal.
4. You can’t create bad habits or spoil your newborn baby. If they want to be held to fall asleep, that’s ok. If they want to be nursed to sleep, that’s ok. This is a very brief period in their life. Try to enjoy the baby cuddles and don’t worry about their future sleep patterns.
5. Sleep training isn’t something that all babies need. It’s not like potty training!! Lots and lots of babies figure out sleep all by themselves
6. It is not your fault if your baby wakes up regularly over night. This does not mean you are doing something wrong (1 in 5 babies wake twice or more at age 1, and 30% of one year olds are still waking once)
7. There’s a really good chance your baby’s sleep pattern will change around four months, this is very normal. They start to sleep in a different way around this age. Giving them time to adjust to the new way of sleeping while keeping your bedtime routine predictable and consistent is often the best thing to do.
8. When your baby suddenly starts waking more frequently (after previously sleeping for longerstretches with fewer wakes or previously sleeping in a predictable way) it’s often caused by teething, sickness or a developmental milestone. Waiting a week or so and not changing your routine is often the best thing to do here.
9. You need to prioritize your sleep! Creating space so you can get one full sleep cycle either from a daytime nap or by taking turns overnight, can help alleviate some of the exhaustion you are feeling.
10. It is absolutely ok to try some form of sleep training because you need more sleep, this can often help us be the best parents we can be! And sleep training and breastfeeding are not mutually incompatible, you can absolutely do both.

Back pain during pregnancy is very common. Some back pain after giving birth can be common too. But there are also less common back issues associated with pregnancy and childbirth. If you’re having significant back pain and you just had a baby, there may be some things that you can do about it.

Normal back pain during pregnancy

It’s very normal to develop lower back pain during pregnancy even if you didn’t have any back pain before becoming pregnant. It’s estimated that 50% of people will experience some level of lower back pain during pregnancy. The severity can range from mild to severe and can have a big impact on daily functioning. Some of the causes are just a normal consequence of pregnancy body changes including:

• A shifting pelvis
• Changes in posture due to a growing belly and changing center of gravity
• Changes in the way you sit and lay down
• Extra weight and pressure in the pelvis/pelvic floor
• Hormonal changes causing extra soft tissue laxity – Your joints can get more flexible during pregnancy, and that can cause overstretching of connective tissues resulting in back pain.
• Baby’s position – As the baby grows, if their position is not ideal it can cause or increase back pain.

You can’t usually isolate a lower back problem to just that area. You have many muscles, ligaments, tendons, and joints that support the lower back. When any or all of these are either too tight, too loose, or injured, it can have an affect on your lower back health. If you have pain in the lower back, it’s often caused by problems NOT actually related to your spine.

Normal back pain AFTER pregnancy

Some people have back pain after giving birth. This might be continuing back pain that started during pregnancy and stayed the same or got worse over time. This pain might also develop for the first time after giving birth. There are a lot of reasons why you might develop back pain after childbirth including:

• Labor – Labor itself can be physically taxing. You might need to get into unfamiliar or difficult positions during labor. You may also have a long labor that requires you to work really hard and spend a lot of time on your feet and shifting positions. You might also spend a lot of time lying down, especially if you have an epidural, and that may be something your back is not used to. However you experience labor, these are circumstances that can lead to increased back pain.
• Epidurals – After an epidural, there may be some localized lower back pain caused by insertion of the needle and catheter. That usually goes away within a few days.
• Holding and feeding babies – At first, we hold our babies A LOT, and newborns require us to use two hands. That’s a very good thing, but it can also mean our body is holding unfamiliar positions for long periods of time. If you have a very fussy baby or a baby that has difficulty sleeping or latching on at the breast, you might even be tempted to hold very uncomfortable positions for long periods of time. My first baby had a lot of difficulty latching on to the breast at first. When she would FINALLY get a good hold, I would freeze in whatever position I was in so she wouldn’t lose her grip. That sometimes meant staying in a really awkward and uncomfortable position for way too long. Now I recognize that wasn’t necessarily the best way to handle it. If I could go back, I’d do it differently. My baby would probably have stayed latched on if I had shifted into a more comfortable position, or I could have tried again if she didn’t. You might be tempted not to move because you might wake your difficult sleeper, or cause your fussy baby to cry again if you move them into a different position. Just remember that your back health is important too! You can be a better parent when you’re not in pain. It’s also important to remember that once your baby is old enough to support their head and you start being able to hold them with just one arm, you might create some other imbalances that can lead to back pain. Try to change the way you hold your baby to avoid over-using and under-using each side of your body.
• Recovering from pregnancy – If you had lower back pain during pregnancy, you probably shouldn’t expect it to go away immediately following childbirth. If your lower back pain was caused by issues specific to pregnancy, like the large belly and extra weight or change in sleep position and center of gravity, you can probably expect it to go away gradually.

Normal back pain resolution

For most kinds of lower back pain caused by pregnancy and birth, you can probably do some simple things to make it better or even go away completely. The following non-invasive treatment strategies tend to be highly effective:

• physical therapy
• yoga
• stabilization belts
• nerve stimulation
• acupuncture
• massage
• relaxation

Back pain caused by pregnancy or childbirth INJURY

It’s a lot less common to have an actual spinal injury during childbirth, but it can happen. This is a very scary thought, but fortunately it’s very rare.

• Sacral stress fracture – This is an actual crack in the bone near the tailbone or on the tailbone. The sacrum is considered part of the spine AND the pelvis. It’s the triangular shaped bone that essentially attaches the spine to the pelvis. The tailbone or coccyx is at the bottom of the sacrum. This part of the spine can be damaged during childbirth for a number of reasons. It curves into the pelvic bowl and the baby needs to maneuver around it to get through. Sometimes it can happen because a baby is especially large or in a bad position. It’s also just a little more likely to happen from a normal amount of stress because of the hormones of pregnancy and extra ligament flexibility. It also happens more frequently when a forceps or vacuum assisted delivery is needed. The pain associated with a coccygeal fracture usually feels like lower back or buttock pain and usually means it’s painful to sit at all or for long periods of time, bowel movements may be painful, and you may have difficulty getting comfortable for sleep. Sex may also be painful.
• Dislocated tailbone – The causes and consequences of this injury are similar to a fracture.
• Bruised tailbone – While less severe, a bruised tailbone may feel similar to a fractured or dislocated tailbone, and can have similar causes.
• Sprains and strains around the sacrum and tailbone – The ligaments supporting the lower back can be overstretched and strained and damaged during childbirth. This can cause postpartum back pain.
• Spinal anesthesia complications – Some back pain after childbirth can be caused by complications with an epidural or spinal anesthesia. The procedure involves inserting a needle near the spinal cord in the lower back. Very rarely, there can be infection or nerve damage associated with the procedure. This can cause pain, or loss of feeling in the lower body.
• Pelvic floor injury – The muscles, ligaments, and tendons of the pelvic floor are responsible for holding up your uterus and supporting your bladder, urethra and rectum. There is a lot of extra pressure, weight, and stress on this area during pregnancy. Injury to the pelvic floor can definitely cause lower back pain.
• Diastasis recti – This is a separation of the abdominal muscles. It’s normal for those to separate some during pregnancy as your uterus grows. Most of the time, those muscles come back together after birth, but in some cases the separation persists and can be a cause of back pain.

In most cases, spinal injuries and other kinds of pregnancy and birth injuries will resolve on their own with time. It’s also important to get direction from your care provider. To help with the discomfort, you might use some of these strategies:

• Rest is important while your injury is healing.
• Hold an ice pack on the area for 20-30 minutes at a time a couple of times a day.
• With your care provider’s recommendation, you may try using nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs like ibuprofen.
• Take warm baths or sitz baths.
• Apply warm cloths or heating pads to the area.
• Sitting on a ring-shaped cushion may help with discomfort. These can be foam or inflatable and usually found at drug stores or online.
• Sleep on your side or belly instead of your back.
• Certain stretches can be helpful, and best done under the supervision of a physical therapist.
• Make sure to eat well and stay hydrated to avoid constipation. Straining while having bowel movements increases discomfort.
• Avoid any direct pressure applied to the area whenever possible while it’s healing.

The more severe spinal injuries are extremely rare, but can be a huge setback to your postpartum recovery and early parenting. Some level of injury after childbirth is very normal, and whatever is happening whether normal or severe, it’s important to give yourself time to heal. It’s also normal for your body to have some adjustments to make with a new baby.

Many long term complications can be prevented with some immediate and simple care after childbirth. Whenever possible, rest and take care of your baby. Let others take care of you, your home, and anything else. It’s important to eat well and sleep well. If you can get support from a physical therapist, chiropractor, massage therapist, acupuncturist, occupational therapist or pelvic floor physical therapist, you will likely experience some relief and potentially lower your risk for long term pain or complications.

Pregnancy and birth are VERY BIG and very physical life events. Be kind to yourself and be patient. If you can see a therapist, it’s also important to take care of your mental health while you’re healing. It’s also important to remember that you can most always get back to feeling strong and healthy again. Most of these complications will not cause problems for you in future pregnancies, especially when you have done the great work of healing.

Resources

https://keck.usc.edu/news/does-childbirth-lead-to-low-back-pain-later-in-life/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9809019/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3306025/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16216182/

It might seem surprising that we’re covering this topic. We are a company focused on breastfeeding support. Our ultimate goal is to help families find a way to breastfeed in a way that works for their family. And we do like to start there, for sure. It’s important that people have what they need to make breastfeeding successful for so many reasons. So it might be surprising that one of our next biggest goals and challenges is helping people overcome their feelings of failure or shame for NOT breastfeeding at all or for not breastfeeding like they think they “should”.

I don’t like the word “should”. It doesn’t make sense to me. We either do or we don’t. Should or should not are just judgments. If you breastfeed your baby, great! If you don’t breastfeed your baby (as long as your baby is getting some kind of good nutrition), that’s great too! We’re here to help you figure out infant feeding that is going to work best for you and your family regardless of the food of choice or necessity.

“Fed is Best” vs “Breast is Best”

These campaigns each have a very worthy and reasonable goal, and most people interpret that they are opposite goals. The “Breast is Best” campaign was a response to formula company marketing and the medical community spreading a false message that formula was superior to breast milk. This happened a long time ago, but it did decades worth of damage. It was very important to start communicating a different message. The “Fed is Best” campaign began as a response to the shame that some people felt when they did not breastfeed because of some very strong messages being shared about the superiority of breast milk. But if you dig a little deeper, you might find they have more in common than most people think. Our founders recently spoke about this on a podcast episode that might help clear some things up!

Optimal vs Just Fine

Your breast milk is the highest form of nutrition for your baby. There are some potential health benefits. We do know this is true. It is “optimal”. That’s a pretty heavy word that means heavy expectations.

We understand that we ourselves don’t always eat the most nutritious or “optimal” foods every moment of every day. I just ate chips for lunch, so I’m very sure I don’t always choose optimal nutrition. We don’t feed our older kids the optimal food every time they eat either. As a busy working mom, I know that I will do my best most days, but sometimes it just has to be PB&J for dinner. I sometimes let myself feel shame or regret for a bad day or week, but I know that the majority of the busy parents out there understand.

At Breastfeeding Success, we understand that “optimal” isn’t always possible or convenient. Sometimes “optimal” would come at a sacrifice to our mental health or our ability to navigate life. Sometimes we have to substitute “optimal” for “the best I can do right now while preserving my sanity” or “just fine”. This is OK. We understand that life and parenting is about so much more than optimal food choices.

What we can do

What we want to do is offer education and support for families so they can make their own best decisions. We don’t want formula company marketing to make that decision for anyone, and we definitely don’t want SHAME to enter into your decision making.

So, when you ask for help, we will meet you with compassion and a readiness to do some troubleshooting. We’ll talk to you about breastfeeding, but we’ll also LISTEN to your needs. If that means that you need help finding alternative ways to feed your baby, we’re all in. We can discuss hand expression, pumping, safe formula use, and bottle feeding techniques so you can be most successful.

But how can you avoid the shame?

Generally, shame comes in two forms. It might come from the people around you, or it might just be coming from you.

When shame comes from ourselves, it’s the hardest to shake. As new parents, we might interpret well meaning advice as shaming because we feel overwhelmed and worried. We think we “should” do things a particular way, so when we’re questioning our ability to do that and someone reinforces this message, we feel like they are judging us. I did A LOT of this. What I understand now, after 16 years of parenting successes and failures, is that they probably weren’t judging me. They were offering me a suggestion that worked for them, and I got myself caught in a shame cycle. If I had asked them what they would think of me if I DID NOT take their advice, they probably would have said, “Sure, whatever, let’s get a cup of coffee.”

We have to stop ourselves from having the thoughts that we “should” or “shouldn’t” do something. When you can look at the information you have, the baby you have, the life you have, in a clear and reasonable way, you can make a decision that works for you. After the decision is made, trust that you did the right thing. If you start to feel shame or regret, that might just be your own insecurities creeping back in. You can continue to reaffirm that you have done the right thing for you and your family and focus on all of the amazing things that you are doing.

If you are definitely getting judgments from someone else, that can be hard to deal with too. If you’re getting judgment directly from a family member or friend, I recommend saying something like, “Thank you so much for the advice. I can tell that you care a lot about us. This was a really difficult decision, and I put a lot of hard work and thought into it before making a choice. This is just what is going to work best for me and for my family. I hope you can respect that so we can move on to other things and enjoy our time together.”

If the judgments are coming from certain online groups, communities, or social media, those might be easier to remove from your life. Those sources can get really ugly, but you don’t have to look. If you don’t look, it can’t affect you. A lot of new parents discover that they have to disconnect digitally, or just find new sources that are more positive and affirming.

Remember that every parent has their own set of special skills and talents. I have always been really good about getting babies, toddlers, and big kids to eat nutritious foods. I’m a good cook, and it was always easy for me. I’ve been fortunate not to have struggles at the dinner table very often.

On the other hand, I’m NOT very good at sleep. I felt so lost and clueless when it came to getting my babies and toddlers to sleep. I had so many friends who seemed to breeze through that part, but it never came easy for me.

I’m really good at reading fiction stories to my kids with fun voices and all, but I’m not very good at acting out imaginary role plays. I can play board games, but don’t try to get me to play ball. I’m happy to take a walk, but don’t try to get me on a bike! As you grow into parenthood, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to shine and plenty of moments to realize that you’re not great at something else. This is just normal life. Take it easy on yourself and focus on the wins!

You can breastfeed without help from others, but that makes it much harder. Statistics show that having a good support system increases the chances that people will breastfeed and breastfeed for longer.

What Support Looks Like

Support can mean a lot of different things. It might mean having enthusiastic cheerleaders around who think breastfeeding is a good idea and don’t think you’re crazy for doing it. It might mean having people around who have done it before and can offer you some helpful pointers. It could also mean having an extra set of hands to help you do the jobs that are harder to do when you’re spending a lot of time breastfeeding your baby, since you’ll be the ONLY one who can do that job. You might not have one person who can fill all those needs, and you also might not have multiple people to provide all the levels of support.

Most people don’t have big extensive support systems anymore. Your extended family might be scattered and not close. You might not know your neighbors or have close friends nearby. This makes the work of new parenting a lot harder.

When quick, easy travel wasn’t possible, people stayed closer together. They lived in smaller communities where they were surrounded by family and neighbors who had known them their whole lives. They watched the older people have babies, feed babies, and parent children. They helped each other and knew“It takes a village” to raise children.

Now you might have to raise your children without a true village, but it doesn’t mean you’ll have an easy time doing it all by yourself. It might seem like people brag about being able to “do it all”, or be masters of multi-tasking. It might even seem like people are getting lots of awards and praise for this, but in truth there are no awards and most people suffer for trying to “do it all”. This is an unfair expectation of new parents. You likely won’t feel like you are doing your very best at anything when you’re trying to do everything alone.

Breastfeeding might be something that you think you can do alone, but it can be surprisingly complicated.

It can be difficult logistically.

You only have two hands. Breastfeeding a newborn baby often takes both hands. You can’t do something else at the same time. You just have to sit there and feed your baby. Scratch that…..you GET to just sit there and feed your baby! It can be a really wonderful experience to disconnect from everything else and feed and watch your new little person. This is a healthy and beautiful thing.

This is also hard to do when you’re worried about how to get dinner out of the oven, or how to feed the hungry dogs that are circling your legs. You might also be worried about sending that email or making a grocery list. You wonder if you’re ever going to get this baby off your nipple so you can finally go take a shower! Having another set of hands around can remove at least half of these burdens so you can relax and enjoy feeding your baby and let the baby feed as often and as long as they need to. This will help you develop a great milk supply and keep things progressing smoothly.

It can be difficult emotionally.

Breastfeeding isn’t always easy. Most people will have some challenges at first. It might hurt. You might have a really fussy baby which might make it hard to calm them down so they’ll eat. Your baby might be really sleepy and struggle to finish eating without taking a nap. You might worry that you don’t have enough milk. You might worry because it seems like you have too much milk and your breasts are so swollen and engorged that the baby can’t even get a grip on the nipple! Encountering some problems at first is very normal.

Lactation consultants can help you with problems that you can’t get figured out on your own. A lot of the time, there’s just a short adjustment period which will pass. Things will most always get a lot easier, but not everyone knows this. You might start to doubt yourself and whether you want to continue breastfeeding. When this happens, having a supportive person around can help you rally. They can encourage you to stick with it and remind you that it will get easier. They can offer to find some help for you. When you have people around you who support your decision to breastfeed, it can make you feel a lot more confident and give you the emotional fuel you need to keep going.

It can be difficult intellectually.

There is a lot of research that tells us that babies are probably born with the instincts to breastfeed, but parents don’t really have the instincts to offer breastfeeding to their babies. That was true for me. I had not seen much breastfeeding before I had my own first baby, and I honestly had NO idea what to do. I thought I would just know how, but I didn’t. Luckily, I was directed to a lactation consultant, and together, we got it figured out.

You might not have a family member or friend who can show you how to breastfeed! It’s also very likely that your partner has no idea what to do and can’t help you either. This is where you will probably need a different kind of support. Lactation consultants are experts and IBCLCs are lactation consultants with a lot of training and the highest level of certification. Because of recent legislation under the Affordable Care Act, most people can get lactation support covered by insurance. It is VERY worth doing. You may or may not need or plan to seek out professional lactation support. Even if you don’t, most hospitals offer it! This is a great opportunity to take advantage of that type of care. They are there to help solve problems, but also to educate.

Ask lots of questions, even if you’re not having any problems. Things sometimes come up later. I interviewed hospital IBCLC, Dee Huerta, about this topic and she offered some great advice! She said that people who have JUST given birth might be a little too overwhelmed to take in lots of information. They may not even remember seeing a lactation consultant! She suggested that partners should be there for these visits and be VERY attentive and even take lots of notes. It can be really hard to pay close attention and take in so much information right after you give birth, and while you’re trying to take care of a brand new baby. Partners can often take in the information better at that time, and by taking notes, they can fill you in later or offer some suggestions when problems do come up.

What can partners do?

Depending on how much time they can get away from work, partners can usually help a lot with the logistics and with the emotional support if they understand that they are needed. To help in a very hands-on way, your partner can:

• make the grocery list.
• feed the dogs.
• get dinner out of the oven.
• hold the baby skin-to-skin and bond between feedings so you can finally take a shower.
• do the laundry.
• clean the house.
• change diapers.
• bathe the baby.
• keep visits from friends and family short. Hopefully they are there to help, that’s great! They can help and then go, unless your partner wants them to stay. This is OK. Hopefully, people understand that you need to rest and have plenty of privacy during this recovery time. If they don’t, that has to be OK. Your needs come first.
• be available to bring water and snacks or anything else you need while you are feeding the baby.
  wake up with you for night feedings. Your partner can help by getting the baby for the feeding then burp the baby and put them back to sleep. They might even help by changing a diaper or some wet sheets.
• entertain the baby in between feedings! Sometimes babies seem to eat almost constantly. That’s a very good and normal thing. It’s called cluster feeding, and it’s how the milk supply increases as a baby grows. This happens at big growth milestones and might last a day or two. Especially when that is happening, you might need a touch break. You might feel like you’re being constantly OVER touched and might just want some time alone. I remember begging my husband to just take the baby for a walk or something so I could clean my house or do something that was NOT holding a baby for as many minutes as I could get.
  generally just take care of the things that are NOT feeding the baby. Especially at first.

The thing that might be the most important of all is to get emotional support from your partner. It can be very hard to carry on through early breastfeeding struggles when partners are not encouraging. Instead of saying, “I’ll go get some formula. That will be a lot easier.”, it usually feels much better when they:

• let you cry on their shoulder and just hold you.
• tell you they know it’s hard now, but that it will get easier soon.
• tell you that they’re so proud of you for wanting to do this because they know it’s so good for your baby.
• ask you if there is anything they can do to support you
• offer to call a lactation consultant or someone else for support if you think that would help.

What partners should NOT do

These suggestions might seem obvious to you, but these things happen ALL THE TIME! It’s hard for partners to watch you struggle. Partners usually want to help and solve problems. Sometimes this is appropriate, but sometimes things just have to be hard for a little while and it’s important to stay positive and encouraging. As the partner, it can be really hard to understand just how much impact certain words and actions might have on someone who just gave birth and is struggling to be a good parent AND breastfeed. These are a few things partners might want to avoid:

• They shouldn’t say, “My [mom, sister, friend, co-worker] said you should…….” for anything.
• They shouldn’t make and leave messes.
• They shouldn’t entertain friends and family…..unless YOU want to. This can be for partners who are extroverts and like to socialize.
• They shouldn’t pass the baby around if this makes you uncomfortable. It’s very normal for a new mom to want to keep the baby to herself. You might be worried about getting the baby sick while they are very little and vulnerable. New parents are designed to want to keep the baby close and protected. That’s very natural and good! It’s also helpful for breastfeeding.
• They shouldn’t tell you they want to feed the baby, even if they do! I understand the desire. Partners might want to have that kind of bonding experience with the baby. They might think that’s the most important job and want to be part of helping. They might think they’re helping relieve some of your burden by offering. But for breastfeeding parents, that might cause extra stress. When the goal is successful breastfeeding, the easiest way to is to just let it happen as naturally as possible, and as the BABY directs. Having to worry about pumping and filling bottles or using formula might make it much harder. If you want this kind of help, ask for it.

How CAN partners bond with the baby?

There are so many ways to bond with the baby besides feeding. It’s really important to find the thing or things that work for your partner. Here are a few ideas:

• They can make diaper time theirs and make it fun with silly faces, tickling, massage, songs, etc. This will help them bond AND when babies grow up knowing that diaper changes are fun, they will make it easier for you instead of trying to get away!
• They can make bath time theirs and make it fun. See above.
• They can learn how to use a baby carrier and take the baby for snuggle walks every day.
• They can take a baby massage class and give the baby some daily massage time!
• They can hold the baby skin-to-skin anytime you need some alone time.
• If your partner is a musician, they can sing or play music to your baby. They might choose a special song just for your baby.
• They can read books to the baby. Even when the baby can’t understand yet, just hearing their voice is soothing. Later on, they will be able to understand and it will be fun in a whole new way.
• They can learn how to put your baby to sleep and be in charge of bedtime or naptime.
• They can get up early in the morning with your baby if you need more sleep. This is often a great bonding ritual.

As your baby grows, you will both figure out how to be great parents. It’s very normal for things to be a little weird and uncomfortable at first. Partners might be insecure about how they’re doing or feel like they’re having trouble bonding. This is normal too. After just a little time, they’ll start to make their own routines and feel a lot more confident. During this transition time, it’s important for the birth parent to allow your partner to help. This can be really hard for some people. You might want to do it all, or worry that they won’t be able to do things as well as you do. The problem with this is that they can never learn if they don’t start doing it!

Establishing routines and letting your partner participate will help everyone. They will gain confidence as a parent and understand that they are needed and important. You will start to appreciate the help and the time to take care of your own needs as well, especially as the baby gets older. A common problem that develops in relationships with new parents is that one parent takes control and doesn’t allow the partner to help. The partner might get resentful, and eventually might give up trying. Then the controlling parent becomes resentful that their partner never helps! You don’t want to get into this hard-to-break cycle.

Help your partner understand if this is very hard for you. You were responsible for the baby during pregnancy, and it can be hard to let go of all that responsibility. When they can understand your perspective, they can be gentle and not critical while they are adjusting. They can offer the help and support in whatever ways are easiest for you to accept. After a little time, you will be able to see that your partner is capable and helpful, and you will be able to let go a little more.

Below is a recorded interview with Dee Huerta, IBCLC at Breastfeeding Success specializing in inpatient hospital and NICU lactation support.

If you’re reading this wondering if you’re the only person out there with concerns about breastfeeding and sex…. I promise you’re not!

The Sexualization of Breasts

There are so many issues around breastfeeding and sex, or the sexualization of breasts.

For some people, just the idea of breastfeeding is uncomfortable because of all of the sexual associations with breasts. For people who have started breastfeeding young babies, it might continue to feel uncomfortable. In most cases though, our focus shifts pretty dramatically to breasts as a feeding tool once the baby arrives. But that can also cause difficulties, because sex with our partners, or parts of the sexual relationship, can begin to feel uncomfortable.

For those of you who are thinking about getting pregnant or are currently pregnant, consider how you feel when you think about allowing a baby to feed from your breast. This might be uncomfortable! In many cultures, including ours, breasts are sexualized. We are not conditioned to thinking of them as just another useful body part. We keep them hidden (mostly), unless we want them to serve a role in attracting a partner, or as part of a sexual experience.

For many people, breasts are sexually attractive, and so we see them displayed prominently in advertisements and in films and TV shows. This has not been true for every culture in every era. There have always been, and still currently are, places in the world where seeing a breast is normal. It is not considered a “private part”. People in these communities feed their babies everywhere and don’t even think about covering up. There are still some cultures in warmer climates, where it’s normal to see men AND women going topless to stay cool. In those places, people are not constantly running around being sexually aroused and trying to control themselves! It is just normal…..another body part like a nose or a foot.

Fun fact: There have been times in certain parts of the world where FEET were highly sexualized body parts and women had to keep them covered up to avoid attracting the “wrong” kind of attention!

Getting Past the “Weirdness”

I have heard many people express concerns about being able to breastfeed, because while they are pregnant they can’t imagine that it won’t be way too weird or even “icky” to breastfeed. For a few people, that continues to be the case after the baby is born. A lifetime of conditioning makes us believe there is something “wrong” with allowing a baby to come into contact with this body part. That might mean that breastfeeding is very difficult or even impossible. If that is what happens for you, it’s OK. It can be really hard for some people, and very understandable.

For some of those people, pumping is an option that is not as difficult as direct breastfeeding, and that’s still a great way to provide milk for your baby. However you choose to move forward, I would definitely recommend working on some of those distressing feelings ahead of time. Continue to tell yourself that breasts have this other very important purpose, and that it is good for you and your baby to allow the body to do what it’s designed to do. Breasts are not just supposed to be sexual objects. We have other body parts that serve multiple purposes. The clitoris and the penis are obviously designed for sexual pleasure, but they’re also right there at the spot where urine needs to come out! Imagine if it became difficult to urinate because you were worried about becoming sexually aroused at an inappropriate time! We can separate those different functions. Both are natural and normal. It might even be helpful to get some therapy around this if you’re having a big struggle.

The good news is that for most people this quickly changes when the baby arrives. Our amazing hormones usually get those “icky” feelings under control pretty quickly, and we become much more focused on the instinct to nourish our babies. The breasts become a most important and useful tool for keeping our babies alive and healthy.

Covering Up or Not?

A lot of people even find that they lose modesty around the breasts and have no problem exposing them while they’re feeding their babies. I definitely fell into this camp. I thought for sure that I would need to cover up, because I have always been a very modest person. I even put multiple cute nursing covers on my baby registry. Once my baby arrived, I didn’t even think about it. When I needed to feed her, a breast came out and all else was forgotten! I actually recognized that I wanted to stop and be more careful to consider the feelings of other people in the room. Our dads, brothers, uncles, aunts, and grandparents might not be all that comfortable seeing our breasts, and whether or not we think that’s a healthy thing, covering up might be a considerate thing we choose to do. We can’t “fix” them or change their lifelong conditioned responses, so some of us choose to compromise in this way. In those cases, I personally didn’t leave the room, but I tried to stay more covered up.

It’s also OK to breastfeed your baby however you’re most comfortable. Other people can choose to stay or leave. Because we live in this culture where breasts are sexualized, it’s not necessarily going to be an easy path, but we can continue to normalize breastfeeding by at least bringing it in the room!

Breasts Are More Than Feeding Tools

If you have an easy time making that adjustment and feel very secure and comfortable with breastfeeding, you might notice that a different struggle comes up. When we do make that shift to thinking of breasts as a feeding tool, it can actually sometimes mean that using breasts in a sexual way feels very WRONG! There are actual logistical reasons why breastfeeding can interfere with sexual intimacy. Sometimes, sexual arousal can lead to milk ejection and that can get messy and sticky, so you might have to keep a top and breast pads on! For some people, it might actually be painful or uncomfortable to have your breasts touched in any other way. For others, it just might feel weird.

Maybe you’ve started feeling that the breasts are the baby’s domain and no one else should mess with them and it feels “icky” to try. Maybe you feel “over touched” spending so many hours each day holding and feeding a baby and you want to minimize that. Whatever you might be experiencing, it’s important to recognize that this is a temporary thing. Your baby will grow and change, and so will your breastfeeding relationship. In the meantime, it’s important to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner and find other ways to connect and be intimate that might not involve breasts for a while. This means having open conversations about what each of you are feeling and how you can work together to move through this period in your relationship with the most respect and ease.

If you are having any struggles considering breastfeeding and breasts having a sexual function, just know that you are not alone. It is a very common concern, but one that is usually overcome without too much struggle. If you can, It’s important to get it out in the open more and share your thoughts and feelings with other people so they don’t feel like they are the only ones! Join our free online support groups to talk about all things pregnancy and new parenting. Join us on Mondays at 1pm (CT) for Bosom Buddies New Parents Support Group and every Friday at 1pm (CT) for Belly to Birth Pregnancy Support Group.

The holidays are upon us, which can sometimes include traveling with babies and small children. This might feel like a REALLY intimidating thing to you, especially if you’ve never done it before. Or you might feel like, “What’s the big deal? You just do the same thing, but with a baby, right?”

If you plan on traveling this season, whether by car, bus, train, or plane, there are some things to know about managing travel with children that can make it easier and more fun.

If you have a baby and have been told that you are supposed to just be able to pick up and travel easily, I am here to offer another perspective. For most of us, if we are being completely honest, traveling with little ones is NOT MUCH FUN and can even feel unsafe! I did it when I had to, for family obligations, but I limited it as much as possible.

It’s Okay to Stay Home

It is more than OK to say no or postpone travel plans, even when people might give you a hard time about it. With newborns, there might actually be a safety issue. Many pediatricians would agree that it’s better to avoid travel with very young babies, so if you get pushback from enthusiastic family members, you can tell them your doctor recommended staying home! Traveling can mean a higher risk for illnesses which can often be more threatening to newborns. You may also still be recovering from pregnancy and birth and that can make it more complicated and unpleasant to travel.

While your kids are little, don’t feel bad if you need to stay home more for a while. It doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that you are uptight or disorganized or not brave enough. Those who love you will likely understand that it’s a temporary state that most of us go through when we have little ones. It will change.

After my first baby, it took several months before I could sit comfortably in a car. And sleep deprivation made the thought of planning and packing and traveling very intimidating. There are also logistics to think about. There was so much stuff to take, and babies are so different from the big people. The way they eat, sleep, play, and behave is unique enough to make things more complicated.

At home, we have our safety nets. We have baby-proofed rooms, we have the food they eat, their beds, their toys, strollers, soothing gadgets, car seats, special blankets/pillows/lovies…. all the things that help us find ease with little ones. When we travel, either the accessories come with us, or we have to do without. Either option requires extra work, and extra work equals less travel fun.

Or, you might be one of the rare few who actually like to travel with little ones. I have friends who fit that description, and I understand that for them, traveling is truly fun and easy, or at least worth any hassle!

Sometimes, the holidays make travel necessary, so when this happens, here are some tips to help you travel with more ease.

If you have a breastfeeding baby……

Should I bring my breast pump while traveling?

One of the many benefits of direct breastfeeding is that there is less to carry! So, if you do not have to be separated from your baby it might be okay to skip it. If you do anticipate some separation, it might be a good idea to have a breast pump on hand. If you decide to bring it, make sure you bring:

• a pump
• bottles
• storage bags
• a portable cooler
• ice packs

Store your breastmilk in a freezer or refrigerator as soon as you are able to. Also consider getting an inexpensive manual breast pump. These can be a good option for travel because they are smaller and take up less space.

If you plan to travel by plane, visit the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) website before your trip. You can get a lot of detailed information about the rules of traveling with a breast pump and expressed breastmilk. Keep in mind other countries may have different rules. Finding out and planning ahead might save you some airport headaches.

Is it okay to breastfeed on an airplane?

Breastfeeding is permitted and legal in all public areas, including airplanes and trains. By law, wherever you’re allowed to be, you are also allowed to breastfeed. Breastfeeding on an airplane can also be incredibly helpful! It can help soothe babies during take-off and landing, easing ear discomfort. It can also help babies stay calm and sleep.

Wear something that makes the breast easily accessible like a nursing shirt or tank top. A comfortable cover-up of some kind can help you be discrete and can minimize light and distractions for your baby. I would also encourage you to utilize “family boarding” to get you on the plane early so that you can get yourself, your baby, and your carry-on items situated before everyone else gets on.

What if I am traveling by car?

If you are traveling by car, give yourself plenty of time so that you can take feeding breaks when necessary. You may want to stop for every feeding, or else pump in the car and bottle feed. Driving at night can sometimes make things easier, so the baby can sleep and you’ll have to make fewer stops.

What other items should I bring with me when I’m traveling?

Plenty of water and snacks for you! It’s important to take care of your own needs and keep up your energy and milk supply with good nutrition and hydration.

• A sling or baby carrier: This is especially great if you don’t want to carry a stroller around while you’re traveling. Babies tend to be happier in a carrier, and there is less stuff for you to keep up with!
• Extra clothes for baby
• An extra top for yourself
• Empty gallon-size plastic storage bag to store any dirty items if necessary
• Extra wipes and burp cloths
• Privacy nursing cover

Some General Tips for Traveling with a Baby

First, I want to say that if your baby cries on the plane, know that many people are feeling sympathetic. Many have been in the same situation and would love for you to know that they’re not annoyed with your baby. Also, remember that most people wear headphones to play music or watch movies on a plane, so they likely won’t even notice! On my flight last month, there were crying babies on all of our flights. I just wanted to hug those parents and tell them it was okay. The rest of my family didn’t even notice the crying!

• Make sure you get plenty of sleep and breaks. Traveling can be exhausting with a baby, and especially if you’re newly postpartum, your body can get depleted quickly.
• Try to keep your routines in place as much as possible. It’s very appropriate to excuse yourself to another room to feed your baby or get a nap. Tired and unhappy babies might not be great travel companions.
• A lot of hotels have some kind of sleeping arrangement for babies. Ask before you go so you don’t feel you have to travel with a large baby crib. You can also get creative! I know I made plenty of little floor beds with blankets and pillows for my older babies in a pinch. Portable bed rails can be really handy and easier to travel with.
• Bring your video baby monitor. If you’ll be in another room, especially if you’re using a makeshift bed for your baby to nap on, it can be comforting to check in regularly using the monitor.
• If you’re getting overwhelmed with packing and luggage space, remember that you can probably do a quick shopping trip when you get there and save yourself the hassle. Things like diapers, wipes, and formula can take up a lot of room but are easy to find almost everywhere. If you’re going to visit family, you may even be able to ask them to make a quick trip to the store for you, or you could order some things online and have them delivered!
• If you’re going to visit family for the holidays, remember that you may come home with a lot more than you left with. Sometimes people go overboard with gifts for the little ones and you have to figure out how to get it all back home! So pack an extra bag, or make sure you have some space in the car.

If you’re not one of these rare happy travelers, take heart, things will probably change dramatically as they age, and then traveling can be better than ever.

I just took a week-long trip to a Caribbean island with my extended family over the Thanksgiving holiday.

About 10 years ago, this trip would not have happened. I would have been too turned off by the idea of traveling like this with little ones. I’m not one who will travel at any expense, so the introduction of kids took it almost completely off my list of fun things to do……for a while. Once my kids got older, it became a very different experience. Traveling became fun again. Seeing my kids have new experiences is thrilling. I feel like I’m seeing things for the first time through the eyes of my children. Things I had been taking for granted were exciting again, and I could even look forward to more trips in the future.

Now, my 12 and 14-year-olds pack their own bags, carry their own luggage, take themselves to the bathroom, and can go more than a couple of hours without eating or sleeping. Sleeping in a strange place in normal beds or even on couches is no problem, and their bedtimes are even the same as ours! They’ll eat what we eat and when we eat. They don’t require diapers or strollers or car seats, or anything more than we do. It does get easier!

However you travel, remember that it’s a small window of time and you’ll be home soon. Try to make the most of the easier moments and enjoy what you went there for. Your baby won’t remember, but you will, and you’ll earn a little more parenting muscle by successfully making it there and back!

A new mom recently shared about not feeling productive anymore.

Oh boy, do we do this! Well, maybe not all of us, but most of us have these feelings at some point during our baby’s first few months or even years. I sure did.

Of course, I could tell you that you ARE being productive. You are doing the most important thing imaginable for your family! You are healing from bringing a new person into the fold, AND you are making sure that new person is alive and fed and healthy. If we can boil it down to that, it seems pretty obvious that you are doing a very big thing. But we don’t always feel like that is true. Why?

I definitely had these feelings sometimes and spent a lot of time questioning why. I decided that I was being productive. I was doing important things.

Then, I thought a lot about where the doubts were coming from. I theorized that I’d been hearing the low hum from outside sources my whole life. Media, friends, family, and just the general undercurrent in our culture tells women that they are supposed to be able to do it all. We can get pregnant, have babies, raise children, maintain our homestead, work a job outside the home, be great partners, excellent pet owners, gourmet chefs, a super fit person with fabulous hair, AND keep up perfectly with all of our other relationships. And the kicker is that we’re supposed to be able to do all of these things at the same time!

Another scary thing is that we can look around us and actually see other women doing it all. We see the creative and fun craft projects they do with their kids, amazing gourmet lunch box meals, and decorated homes on Instagram and Facebook. We see the perfectly made-up moms dropping off their kids at school or daycare. We hear our friends talking about their big job promotions and romantic getaways with their husbands. So we ask ourselves, “Other people are doing it, so why can’t I get it together?”

The big secret is that they DO NOT all have it together. There is a crack somewhere. There is a lack somewhere. We see and expand in others the things we feel we are lacking. That does not mean that what we are seeing is reality or the whole picture. WE may even present a picture of perfection to someone else! It’s true!

I’ll admit to having had some serious life struggles when my kids were younger. There were so many big things going on behind the scenes. I felt like I was barely hanging on sometimes, but of course, I just kept going. I took my kids to school. I continued to do my job. I made the meals and just kept going. One day I finally broke down and shared my hardships with a friend, another mom. She looked at me with an open mouth and said she couldn’t believe it. She thought I was the one who had it all together! She then opened up to me and shared her big things. I couldn’t believe it either! I had always thought that SHE was the one who had it all figured out.

Of course, we became even better friends after that, and I got to understand the power of showing my cracks. In addition to that, I got a real understanding of this quotation:

“Things are seldom what they seem.” – W.S. Gilbert

Remember that things will change. Your baby will grow into a toddler, and then a child, and then a very big child. There will come a time when other things can fit into your life again. It’s okay to wait and allow them in when it feels right or becomes absolutely necessary. We often find that some things can exit our lives forever, and that feels great!

I hope you can tuck all of this away for when you most need it, and really figure out how to believe and embody this deep truth, “You are doing enough. You are good enough. You don’t have to do more or be more.” Our babies love us just as we are, so why can’t we?

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  It can feel a little overwhelming….all these days/weeks/months for awareness of challenging topics like breast cancer. There may be too many to remember, plus they aren’t always pleasant to think about. These reminders are necessary though. When we see them, they bring our attention to the topic. Maybe we have a personal reason to reflect on it. Maybe we don’t know much about the cause, but they give us an opportunity to think about it or learn something new.

At Breastfeeding Success, Breast Cancer Awareness is an especially relevant and important topic because breasts are involved!  Breast health is important throughout our lives. We learn to do breast self-checks when we’re young; we might breastfeed babies and have to learn something new about breast health with that; and as we get older, we get mammograms done regularly. We are told to pay attention to family history of breast cancer and stay on high alert for changes in our breast tissue. It’s a disease that affects approximately 1 in 8 women in the United States. We have about a 13% chance of developing it. That’s not a small enough number for my peace of mind.  But there are some things that we can do.

Risks of Breast Cancer

Science is regularly discovering new things that increase our risk of getting breast cancer.  For example, did you know that having one alcoholic drink per day increases your risk for breast cancer by 7-10%? And two to three alcoholic drinks a day increases breast cancer risk by 20%? Or that using hormonal methods for birth control can slightly increase risk?

Lowering Breast Cancer Risk

Science is also discovering that there are things that can lower our risks.

A moderate amount of physical activity and being at a healthy weight can lower risks. Having a diet high in fruits and vegetables and lower in red and processed meats might reduce risks. Having children can slightly lower risks, especially having multiple children and having children before the age of 30. Breastfeeding can also lower risks slightly, especially if it continues for a year or more. It might be an important and easy thing to reduce your risks by making some simple lifestyle changes.

Of course, none of these things guarantee our safety, but it’s very important to have a healthy lifestyle for cancer prevention. It can lower our chances of illness EVEN IF we have the genes for a particular disease.

I was once told by a very wise oncologist that “Our genetics may give us a loaded gun, but we don’t have to pull the trigger.” He meant that a healthy lifestyle can keep us from pulling the trigger on the disease process even when we’re genetically programmed to be at higher risk.  So it’s generally agreed that getting cancer requires a combination of factors.  We do have some power to control the destiny of our health.

We can also take control by being watchful, especially while breastfeeding! We can learn how to spot warning signs for things we might be more susceptible to.  Whether breast cancer is part of your family’s health history or not, please consider learning how to look for early warning signs!

When we are breastfeeding, this can be especially easy, but also especially tricky. When we’re constantly using our breasts to feed a baby, it can be a lot more obvious to tell when something looks odd.  It’s not typical to develop breast cancer during our reproductive years, but it can happen, so use this as an opportunity to really get to know your breasts.  It can also be tricky because breastfeeding can CAUSE some breast issues that might look a little like some signs of breast cancer. When this happens, our symptoms may be dismissed as a “clogged duct” or another issue.

I have a dear friend who was breastfeeding her 7th child when she noticed a small lump in one breast. She asked her doctor and was told it was just a clogged milk duct. She ignored it until she couldn’t anymore. When her baby was around 9 months old, she went back to the doctor and received a breast cancer diagnosis. After a partial mastectomy and many months of therapy, the cancer was gone. She was told that she did not have any increased risk for future breast cancer.

After some time, she became pregnant again (with twins!). After some complications during the birth and some recovery time, she again noticed a frighteningly familiar lump in her remaining breast. She insisted on being checked for breast cancer and received another positive diagnosis. She was still in her 30s. She fought another battle, longer and harder this time, but again beat the cancer.  It was a hard few years for her and for her family. She’s fortunate to have survived and to have so many healthy children, but it’s so important to take a lesson from a story like this. We need to understand the disease and take control of our breast health, even if we don’t think we’re at high risk.

Here are some things you can do:

• Know your family history.
• Do the best you can to have a healthy lifestyle.
• Learn the warning signs.
• Get to know your healthy breasts.
• Check them regularly for changes.
• See your doctor for the recommended checks and mammograms.
• Trust your intuition when something doesn’t look or feel right.

For more information on breast cancer screening and locations, visit our hospital partner sites:

Ascension Mammography

Baylor Scott & White Breast Care